DEC. 03, 2025

being high is a lot better than bein drunk tbh...which is fine bc im tryna cut down on alcohol so i can lose weight hehe. one drink a month. one eddie a week on my cheat days maybe? so i can have a HELLA good cheat meal. i ate a chicken sandwich the other night and i could genuinely taste each pepper flake in those tenders. it was sooo fucking good dude

whatevs. we've had cold weather lately and i finally got to set up the tree. all is good and well :)

DEC. 01, 2025

you know, i used to feel guilty about my going no contact with my parents- until my irl bestie Noelle told me what my mom posted on facebook. some very clearly copy pasted from chat gpt spiel about how "going no contact is the new hit trend with gen z, because they're so detached they don't care about their families!!"

you'd think she'd feel remorse for abusing me and letting my father and siblings abuse me, but no. "i'm sorry" is not in her fucking vocabulary. have you considered that the reason you're estranged is not because of my damn phone- it's because you're a shitty person?

what the fuck ever man. i'm gonna try another edible tonight.

NOV. 24, 2025

oh my GOD dude i just got over the worst food poisoning of my LIFE

be me. your sibling in law meal prepped shredded chicken...a week ago. you see it in the fridge. you think, 'this has been here a while, should i toss it?' you ignore the gut feeling and make a quesadilla. less than an hour later the consequences of your actions are coming out of both ends and you're certain you're gonna die.

bedridden for THREE DAYS. IT SUCKED SO BAD...my husband made bacon cheeseburgers, macaroni and mashed potatoes last night and i couldn't even make it through half a bowl of mash before tapping out. so yeah! it sucked, but i got babied by my partners so at least theres that hehehe

i'm better now~ i can eat again and i got the bedroom cleaned! take this as a lesson. 3-4 days on fridge leftovers AT MOST. do not be like me.

NOV. 13, 2025

slowly getting better...

my partners have been here for me and supportive as ever. had one final conversation with my mother; i hope one day we can reconnect, but i know it isn't wise to do so just because i feel guilty. i am grieving what we could have had and the parent she could have been, the same way i grieved who my oldest sibling could have been when i cut them off.

i'll be okay. i'm doing decently irl! sticking to my workout...though, i was naughty and had a cheat meal last night and this morning~ not that that's anything to be ashamed of, huhuhu

slowly we are picking up the pieces. i have friendsgiving in a couple of weeks and im working hard on christmas presents for my loved ones! hehe C:

NOV. 08, 2025

finally went no contact with my parents...they really know how to throw a wrench in things

as if beating and berating me and making fun of my suicidal thoughts as a child wasn't enough. sending me some big essay about "sorry i was a bad mom, can you please forgive your older sibling and unblock them before i die so i feel better :) i hope you can work through whatever they did to you" girl you know what they did to me. they beat and molested me. say it. you know. i told you. i tried to tell you when i was a child, too, and you didn't believe me.

i have given them chances time and time again and i was going to give them the grace of going low-contact, but that message really was the nail in the coffin. the fact that she won't even say what they did to me even though she already knows is what really hurts. i am not going to forgive the person who physically abused me just because it'll make her feel better before you die. i've made that perfectly clear. i do not owe them anything.

i cannot keep defending her to my friends. she'd always said i'd "change when i'm older and realize my identity isnt really a thing"; well, i'm older, and i've had plenty of realizations. i’ve never been more sure of myself than i have when i lived away from my bio family. they will never gender me correctly. they will always turn the existence of trans people into a debate to justify their existence. my issues will never be as severe as my "more disabled" siblings and the things that happened to me will not matter as much as their precious oldest baby.

the worst part is, i don't hate them. i can't. they're my parents and i love them; i wish things could just be black and white instead of gray. it would be so much easier; but i cannot keep dancing this dance.

this will pass. i wont be sad forever. i have friends who love and adore me and i love and adore them just as well. i've found my family. i'll be okay.

NOV. 05, 2025

the UK was AMAZING!

drank a lot for a week straight. had some polyamorous shit happen. explored peeg's body a little (SORRY SORRY LMAOOOAOAOAO)

it's so crazy. the food tastes better. the coke does not have high fructose corn syrup and also tastes better. the sweets aren't overpoweringly sweet and don't hurt my teeth. the only thing i really missed was spice; every "EXTRA HOT AND SPICY" label was translation for "we dyed it red but we didn't even salt this shit". sorry to the uk, you guys do NAWT know spice like we do...

well, except for the indian place we ordered from. sure, it took three hours to arrive, but that butter chicken! MWAH!

i had so much fun. me and pringle and dj spun in a circle lovingly. lenny and daniel got on really well, too, but that dirty scotsman has my husband saying "aye" and "cheers"! seriously, daniel didn't go a DAY without walking to greggs for breakfast and coming home with sausage rolls and an irn bru.

i did not like irn bru. but i did like greggs!

it really was a fantastic time seeing them all in person. we'll do it again in a few months; pringle will move in with us when we get to washington, and we'll invite everybody else up, too. i'm so lucky to have known these guys for so long, much less been able to meet them.

peace and love and allat shit :]

OCT. 25, 2025

we are leaving for scotland tomorrow!

i am so excited, i really truly am. my husband and i are meeting up with pringle, deejay and lenny! for some reason i. when i went to type deejay i typed lesbian. i genuinely don't know why or how that came about help

-u- the few ppl who lurk this webpage better behave while i cant update it! we'll start working on golden hour episode 3 when i get home. it'll be so cool and awesome C:

SEP. 13, 2025

it's been EVENTFUL!!!!

aeroloid has been rebranded to VOCA★PRISM, and has been relaunched; we also have a couple of new fellers on the way! fun, fun, fun!

i've been watching black butler with my sibling in law, audy C: it's SO good so far. my inner fujoshi.........screeking. and also i think i'm in lesbians with grell. she's SO cutie...ugh oh my GOD just one sniff- sorry who said that

my husband and i are planning on going to visit my parents soon C: it's less busy at his workplace this time of year, so i feel like i've been getting more time with him! which i'm so thankful for, because frankly, i'm obsessed with this man. i DID marry him after all.

i think things have been improving for me lately. i'm also almost done with a very special project!

SEP. 07, 2025

the long awaited blog page!

i'm still being picky about how i want it to look, but...to be honest, i want this website to be as tacky as possible! hoho!

not a whooole lot to write about...losing a friend over something incredibly miniscule has made me reflect a LOT on myself and how much i really mean to people; i have a large and vast amount of friends who AGREE with me and are just as into darker/taboo fiction as i am. if you're willing to cut off somebody who's been your friend for years, offered up to sacrifice so much for you, over the phrase "ship and let ship"...maybe they didn't mean as much to you as you claim.

i am not as important as hatsune miku's butthole to some people. and that's okay, because this has only brought me closer to my real friends.

oh, and if you happen to read this; please get off of my webpage. we've cut our ties and frankly, i will never forgive you.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE! we're getting close to our friend meetup in scotland :D i'm SO excited. i'm also almost done with an exciting project...i think the few of you who tune into my page regularly will really like it!